It's been a while
Since you last met me Aeons ago
On ooh crikey,
Right back then
I was a boring git
Who had a social life
As rare as a rocking horse shit,
Bob fucking Catley
Was bardly the word Nuno Bettencourt
A right flamin' nerd,
But now I've returned
A true nineties bloke
Because I've risen my head
An even bigger joke,
My names Mr. Formica
My middle name is probably Keith
I've got my flash & Mr.Sheen
I am now armed to the teeth,
To cook the food
And watch the kids
Wash out the undies
Remove the skids,
Polish the windows
And then watch this morning
Go flower arranging
I'm right fuckin' boring,
The moral of this story
Is don't listen to bands who are shit
Like Magnum for example
'Cos you'll become a real wet git,
At the start of this song
My life had improved
But I've just realised
That it hasn't