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Delaney's Donkey

de Val Doonican

Now Delaney had a donkey that everyone admired
Temporarily lazy and permanently tired
A leg at every corner balancing his head
And a tail to let you know which end he wanted to be fed
Riley slyly said we`ve underrated it, why not train it, then they took a rag
They rubbed it, scrubbed it, they oiled and embrocated it
Got it at the post and when the starter dropped the flag
There was Riley pushin` it, shovin` it, shushin` it
Hogan, Logan and everyone in town
Lined up, attackin` it and shovin` it and smackin` it
They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down
The donkey was eyein` them, openly defyin` them
Winkin`, blinkin` and twistin` out of place
Riley reversin` it, everybody cursin` it
The day Delaney`s donkey ran the halfmile race

The muscles of the mighty never known to flinch
They couldn`t move the donkey a quarter of an inch
Delaney lay exhausted, hangin` round his throat
With a grip just like a Scotsman on the five pound note
Starter, Carter, he lined up with the rest of them
When it saw them, it was willin` then
It raced up, braced up, ready for the best of them
They started off to cheer it but it changed its mind again
And there was Riley pushin` it, shovin` it, shushin` it
Hogan, Logan and Mary Ann Macgraw
She started pokin` it an` grabbin` it an` chokin` it
It kicked her in the bustle and it laughed hee-hah
The whigs and conservatives, the radical superlatives
Liberals and tories, they hurried to the place
Stood there in unity, helpin` the community
The day Delaney`s donkey ran the halfmile race

The crowd began to cheer it, then Rafferty, the judge
He came up to assist them, but still it wouldn`t bud

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