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Lincoln Park Pirates

de Steve Goodman

In Chicago where I live, there's a, there's an outfit that could tow almost anything off the street.
But they deal mostly with automobiles and we call 'em "The Lincoln Park Pirates".

The street lamps are on in Chicago tonight
And lovers, they're gazing at stars,
The stores are all closin' and Daley is dozin'
And the fat man is counting the car.

"And there's more cars than places to put 'em," he said
"But I got room for them all,
So round 'em up boys 'cause I want some more toys,
Hit the lot by the grocery store."

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away
The Lincoln Park pirates are we;
From Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy
And we always collect our fee.

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away
We plunder the streets of your town,
Be it Edsel or Chevy,
There's no car to heavy
And no one can make us shut down.

We break into cars when we gotta,
With pick axe and hammer and saw,
And they said this garage had no license
But little care I for the law.

All my drivers are friendly and courteous;
Their good manners you always will get
For they all are recent graduates
Of the charm school in Joliet

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away
The Lincoln Park pirates are we;
From Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy
And we always collect our fee

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away
We plunder the streets of your town,
Be it Edsel or Chevy,
There's no car too heavy
And no one can make us shut down.

And when all of the cars are collected,
And all of their fenders are ruined
Then I'll tow every boat in Belmont Harbor
To the Lincoln Park Lagoon.

And when I've collected the ransom
And sunk all the ones that won't yield,
Then I'll tow all the planes that are blocking the runways
At Midway, O'Hare and Meigs Field

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away
The Lincoln Park pirates are we;
From Wilmette to Gary
There's none that so hairy
And we always collect our fee.

To me --
Way-hey-tow 'em away,
"Now citizens Gather around
I think it's enough and let's call his bluff
Let's tow the bum out of town!"

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