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#19

de Sarah Davachi

Blew out my candles, wished for peace
Still got the same old anxiety
Mom said: Smile, it's your day
But I'd rather sleep the pain away
Everyone says you're so lucky
But no one really sees me
Got glitter on my face
And tears on my sleeves

I thought by now I'd feel complete
But growing up's not that sweet

I'm sixteen and tired
Of pretending, I'm inspired
All these big dreams on my wall
But none of them feel mine at all
I'm sixteen and scared
Of a world that doesn't care
Blame it on hormones or my mind
But I just want to hit rewind

Friends talk about college plans
I still don't know who I am
Post a smile, delete the truth
Hide the bruises under youth
The dress looks pretty, I guess
But I still feel like a mess
They all sing sweet and sixteen
But it doesn't feel that sweet to me

The mirror shows a brand-new face
But inside it's the same old place

I'm sixteen and tired
Of pretending, I'm inspired
All these big dreams on my wall
But none of them feel mine at all
I'm sixteen and scared
Of a world that doesn't care
Blame it on hormones or my mind
But I just want to hit rewind

I paint my pain in pretty shades
Hide my heartbreak under glittered Band-Aids
Laugh too loud, so they won't know
How heavy it feels to let it show
Everyone says it gets better
But I'm still stuck writing letters
To the version of me I used to be
Begging her to wait for me

I'm sixteen and tired
Of being called a liar
When I say I'm not okay
They just laugh and walk away
I'm sixteen, it's bittersweet
Half a heart, two left feet
If this is what it means to dream
Then maybe I'll just fall asleep

Yeah, sixteen and tired
But still here, still wired

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