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Teeth Eat Her

de Rob Sonic

The reception was at Italia Conti
Academy of Theater Arts
Played host to a constellation of stars
Photos of Patsy Kensit, Tracy Ullman
Bonnie Langford, Leslie Ash
There are numerous east-enders
Countless pop stars
Then Louise Nerding
And most of the other Eternal girls
Many of the younger stars' glossy pics
Bear sugar felt tip testimonials
A kindly yet exacting woman
She's given thirty years service
Resulting in the eventual success
Of probably thousands of young performers
She's neat, blonde, welcoming
And very much in control
Her office on the top of a seemingly
Crumbling 50s building

Executive haven, executive haven
Executive haven, executive haven
Executive haven, executive haven
With tea served in floral cups
The coziness inside enhanced by the
Pressing view of a council estate
Groups of students drape themselves
Over reception sautees
Remembering their posture only when her
Eyes catch theirs
They're not allowed to go up to the office
In the building's rickety lift
Some of the students must climb
To the top using stair plates
Which lead to the studio
Crash or common area very symbolic
Hayley Newton, Hayley Newton
Hayley Newton, Hayley Newton
Hayley Newton, Hayley Newton
Hayley Newton, Hayley Newton
Hayley Newton, Hayley Newton
Hayley Newton, Hayley Newton
Hayley Newton, Hayley Newton
Hayley Newton, Hayley Newton

Hayley Newton is fifteen
Cute, outgoing, and poised
She's been preparing for a career on the stage
Since starting ballet at two years old
By day, she's a stage school student
Commuting from her home in Guildford
While her nights are filled with
Television appearances
And roles in west end musicals
Today, she's having her portrait taken
And like all the activities that take place
In the Italia Conti rehearsal rooms
It's practice for successful future
"Hope you like the pictures"
Offers the photographer, waving in his next subject
"I'd better" she twinkles, then runs off
To join her classmates

Like other exclusive London stage schools
Such as Sylvia Young's and Stella Adler's
Conti's takes talented potential-soaked tweens
As early as eleven
Grounding them in enough singing, dancing
And acting lessons to create future generations
Of light entertainers
These days it's always possible
To rise from the Conti ilk
Into the world of tele-presenting and pop
"I can imagine being big, I can see it
And I want to be as big as Celine Dion"
Mmmmmmmhmmmm......
Mmmmmmmhmmmm......

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