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The Pusher

de Redemption

Lately when I sleep perchance to dream
I'm driven to the brink of madness
By the things I've seen
With perfect clarity I see
From all the chapters of my life
Faces staring at me
Mocking me with laughter full of spite
Falling deeper into this sea of doubt
My lungs are filling up
And it seems there's no way out
When I wake and I reflect on what I've dreamt
I can't shake the penetrating
Stares that haunt me with contempt
I've been judged and been found wanting
By a jury of my fears
And this feeling of such worthlessness
Is tearing me to pieces
Falling deeper into this sea of doubt
My lungs are filling up
And it seems there's no way out
I never saw the thread as it was sewn
Connecting all those faces I had known
But somehow now they all respond in kind
I'm struck down like a child
And I'm afraid I'll lose my mind
Please release me
I don't want to feel this any more
I'm terrified that this could be
A glimpse of what's in store
At Peter's Gate
I can't shake it
I've been judged and been found wanting
And I'm worthless
Falling deeper into this sea of doubt
My lungs are filling up
And it seems there's no way out
Falling deeper into this pit of dreams
The nightmares stay with me
And I struggle not to scream

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