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Hector Steps Out

de Peter McConnell

I wish coffee made your teeth whiter
I wish porn was good for your brain
I wish artists didn’t need money
I wish billionaires were less vain
I wish cheese were not so expensive
I wish doing taxes was fun
I wish one-night stands were romantic
I wish guys could cum more than once
I wish ice cream made you more healthy
I wish weed was good for your heart
I wish exercise were less sweaty
I wish drinks were cheaper in bars
I wish we could all be less racist
And I wish the Bible made sense
I wish phones were not so addictive

And I wish we coulda stayed friends
When our never-meant-to-be relationship ended
All the life we lived and now we’re strangers again
All the time we put in
All the things that we’ve been

I wish I had known what I wanted
I wish you had never got mean
I wish we had started off honest
I wish I had made you feel seen
I wish you were less narcissistic
I wish I had known how to help
Wish you coulda seen what I loved in you
Instead of hating yourself

I wish I had met you when Covid
Wasn’t fucking up our whole lives
I wish both of us were less lonely
From our months of staying inside
I wish I were more understanding
I wish you were way less intense
Maybe then you could still stand me

‘Cause I wish we coulda stayed friends
When our never-meant-to-be relationship ended
All the life we lived and now we’re strangers again
All the time we put in
All the things that we’ve been

And it isn’t all your fault
But some of it is
And some of it’s mine
And some of it’s just
Bad timing
And shitty circumstances

I wish Amazon were less evil
I wish climate change were a hoax
Wish I didn’t have to be sad as fuck
To write my funniest jokes
I wish you would someday forgive me
I swear I was trying my best
And I know it wasn’t an option

But I wish we coulda stayed friends
When our never-meant-to-be relationship ended
All the life we lived and now we’re strangers again
All the time we put in
All the things that we’ve been

I just wish we coulda stayed friends
When our never-meant-to-be relationship ended
All the life we lived and now we’re strangers again
All the time we put in
All the things that we’ve been
I just wish we coulda stayed
Just wish we coulda stayed

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