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Ah, The Theater!

de Peter McConnell

Hey there boy what have you done?
Sold your soul at twenty-one
There's still time to up and run
Here's your last chance
I'm sure now it seems just fine
But down the road at thirty-nine
There ain't no such thing as fairy tale romance
'Cause you'll have to spend your Christmas
Makin' small talk with her folks
She'll use up all your razors
Clean up all your jokes
She'll stick you in a church
Every Sunday 'til you die
And even then she'll pray as she cries
It's jail time, jail time

[Chorus]
Sheriff, come take me to jail
Give me life, post no bail
Tie me to my ball and chain
I'd never wanna leave her anyway
No, I'd never wanna leave her anyway

Sign those papers cut and dry
You can kiss your life goodbye
No more cruisin' downtown for single chicks
Sell your convertible buy a van
You'll feel like a lesser man
When you rev that engine just to get your kicks
She'll make you leave the tv
When the children need a ride
She'll tell you to quit drinkin'
She'll make you smoke outside
She'll make you say "I love you"
When she knows you're with your friends
That ain't it, that ain't where it ends
It's jail time, jail time

[Chorus]

When your pushin' comes to shove
You'll fall in and out of love
Paycheck-to-paycheck and day-to-day
When that time comes, please know
I hate to say I told you so
But someone long ago said you'd end up that way

[Chorus]

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