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Barren

de Nicole Dollanganger

Curdled like milk in the summer heat
My skull's gone soft, my head is spoiled
My heart's a rabid dog trying to put its teeth in you

You thought you saw light but it was forest fires
Eating me alive, my limbs are dead and dry
My ribcage cradles dirt and weeds
I'm empty inside

And I will never be able to love you
I couldn't if I tried
And I will lie down next to you
But I fear a dead body would feel warm compared to mine

'Cause I'm barren
On the inside
I'm barren
On the inside

You tried to make love to my empty womb
Tried to stuff me like a doll with pieces of you
But it all seeps from my loosened seams
I took myself apart and cut off my strings
And scrape the remains from my starving bowels
Collected them into garbage piles
To tie in bags, sink in the lake
And bury at the bottom of my sad mistakes

'Cause I will never be able to love you
I couldn't if I tried
And I will lie down next to you
But I fear a dead body would feel warm compared to mine

'Cause I'm barren
On the inside
I'm barren
On the inside

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