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Instead of Here

de Mitski

Right as I dip a toe in the abyss
A knock on the door
Saying: Are you in there, miss?
I stay quiet as can be
I'm not here, I'm where nobody can reach

Instead of live, I was lying on the floor
With Death crouching beside me
And still got up for more
Saying: I'm done after this
And to think I did believe it
I'd gone where nobody can reach

Death said I'd called
Not knowing that I did
She said she wished I'd known
That I'm still just a kid
But knew I would call again
So she'd mosey on back
In case next time's really the end

Instead of love, he said: Lie down in the dirt
I looked up at the night sky
Wondering: Is this what it's worth?
The stars never answered back
I got up when it was done and went where nobody can reach

So excuse me, I'll be opening my box
Of old friend misery, my secret treat
To feel like myself again
I won't be here, I'll be where nobody can reach
I'm not here, I'm where nobody can reach
Instead of here, I'm where nobody can reach
I'm not here, I'm where nobody can reach
Instead of here, I'm where nobody can reach

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