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de Man Overboard

Ruined again, what did I do?
I've been caught up and distracted by you.
I held the moment in the palm of my hands and watched it crumble.
I tried to understand how you could be so normal
and I could be so awkward day after day.
I hate to break the bad news, but I am nothing like you.
Still, you call me all day.
Why is it that you touch me like you want me
and you look my in the eyes like you've never seen a boy before me?
Meet me at the back door just so we can talk more.
Now I'm asking myself what I broke your heart for.
I never wanted to embarrass you or say anything that wasn't true.
Left me wide open eating out of your hand.
I watched your car leave. I didn't understand.
How I could be so stupid, how it got so confusing…
Still tension in the air. If you want to hurt me,
then you should just desert me, now since you are aware.
Have we both really changed for the better?
I count the hours until we're together.
I'll most likely spend tonight alone.
I'd throw a party but no one would come.
I'll be waiting outside till your car pulls up
with butterflies slicing holes in my gut.
I don't want to ruin this again.

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