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Nurture

de Kyla La Grange

And on my fourth birthday, looking like a photograph
We would all forget about, and only discover later on
With all the newspapers, piled up like epitaphs
For the man you never knew, but hold on to like a silver swan
And in the forest that I created in my head
I was a warrior at home in the wild
My bones were big and strong
They'd never get me like they did in real life
If I could just get bigger and better

Could you stay a little longer, please?
Could you stay a little longer, please?

And in the lamp light, swaddled like a baby tight
I read a hundred page to get lost each night
I made a skin out of the brother's grim
Made a magic box to hide the shouting in
'Cause you were busy biting at each other's heels
In an angry fog that never seemed to clear
But it's okay, 'cause I did pretty well anyway
And you're proud

But could you stay a little longer, please?
Could you stay a little longer, please?

And now I'm fifteen, falling on my skinny knees
Telling her, I'm sorry, please
You know I love you more than anyone
But I must have got the message wrong
'Cause the more I tried
The more it came undone
And she was clever
Knew just how to build you up
And then chip away 'til you went wrong

Could you stay a little longer, please?
Could you stay a little longer, please?
Could you stay a little longer, please?
Could you stay a little longer, please?

And then at twenty-three, I asked someone to follow me
Into a cacophony of all of the things I'd fled
And he was ready, gave me very part of him
But my ribs were breaking with the weight of it
And so I left, so well rehearsed at leaving beds by then
And now I'm all grown, moving to new home
With a man my heart holds dearer than anyone
And I'm a mess, so sure I'm gonna love him less
With every step, 'cause that's all that I've come to expect
But as the months pass, I'm surprised to feel my heart
Getting bigger and better, at last

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