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Humiliation Ritual

de Kaonashi

A tight hug goodbye before I catch the last train home
I've learned to appreciate them more than I used to
See, when you're living at the bottom everyone looks so much taller
Honestly, we're all just standing on thin ice
But our denial is so rock solid, it feels nice
Just waiting for the insecurity hammer to smash our I don't cares
And our Instagram posts and our Facebook quotes
And the way that you laugh when you don't even get the joke
See, I always feel alone

When I'm at home or at a show
When I'm with all of my friends and I just have to pretend
That I'm having the time of my life when really its just fucking passing me by
I'll never understand why we drink just to feel sober
Life is a hangover
Dying in the living room
It will always be me versus them
Its like I always feel awkward or embarrassed or uncomfortable
And I'm just so tired of being angry
So fucking tired of being
I hate my friends
I hate the weekend

That same car ride home that I've come to know
Seeing is believing and I don't see the point in anything anymore
I'm unimpressed by the Friday night enthusiasm
Tired of the Saturday morning gossip
No, I didn't hear about what happened last night
And its always the same excuses
No, really, I'm fine I'm just tired
See, we all just want something to talk about
Throw away the red cup
Drink with your hands
People, places; they all change but the feeling stays the same

Bags under my eyes
Sidewalks, streetlights; can I crash here tonight?
The life of the party is dying on the couch
Her friend is on the porch trying to figure out
And I just want to know when's it gonna end?
And I just want to know what am I supposed to do?
Still haven't found my exit, still stuck in my old ways
Still haven't found my exit, but I'm searching every day

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