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TIL THEN

de Jordan Ward

Think of my son who I ain't even had yet
I'll take him to the park then
And teach him some car shit
Show him how to hold his hands when he's boxing
Know he'll learn from watching

I'll save it all, save it all
Save it all till then
Even if no one showed me how to
I'll save it all, save it all
Save it all till then
And I'm'a break the cycle

Thinking of that time when I met you at nineteen
Though you looked just like me, your face read surprising
Asked why I came, you could call that gaslighting
Or call the number I left behind me

I'll save it all, save it all
Save it all till then
Even if no one showed me how to
I'll save it all, save it all
Save it all till then
And I'ma break the cycle

December 2014, I had to go see ya
Mom found you online mentoring the disenfranchised of the Chi
But ever since '95, you never been in my life
And that day I fit the prototype
Thought I was one of the guys

But I was just in town dancing on my first tour
Almost took me in, till I said I'm your boy
Now you're short on time: Half an hour, nothing more
Now ten years have passed and it still make me boil

'Cause I can't reason why
One lives a lie
With honor and pride
But I won't victimize
Myself
While I'm walking through life angry inside
Maybe it's time I let it go

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