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Cockeyed Optimist

de Jim Tomlinson

Oh, yeah

Well, lately I been noticin' a gradual escalation
In your inability to handle your libation
Go zero to sixty
When you get on the whiskey

Well, used to be a glass of wine
And you'd be fine all evenin'
Now I'm the one who says we're done
And tells us when we're leavin'
Well, I miss the way that it was
Can't even catch the good buzz

'Cause I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab
I don't mean to make you mad
But I don't want that responsibility
And I can't be with a woman, baby
Who gets drunker than me

Well, I never thought it'd come to this
When I said, have another
'Cause, baby, you turned into me
And I became my mother
Well, here's what I'm thinkin'
You're interferin' with my drinkin'

I think I have an answer to our present situation
'Cause you an' me out on the town's
Got built in limitations
So let me make this clear
Hey, I'm the one who's drinkin' here

'Cause I ain't worryin' about who's drivin' home
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab
I don't mean to make you mad
But I don't want that responsibility
And I can't be with a woman, baby
Who gets drunker than me

I ain't tryin' to ruin your good time
But I damn sure ain't lettin' yours ruin mine

You ain't gonna ruin my good time, baby

I keep worryin' about who's drivin' home
Who's got the keys, who's got the 'phone
Who'll pay the bill, call a cab
I don't mean to make you mad
But I don't want that responsibility
And I can't be with a woman, baby
Who gets drunker than me
No, I can't be with a woman, baby

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