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Dot Com Monte Carlo

de Jello Biafra

You never know
When it says you gotta go

Hellfudge to them cheap motels down
In baton rouge
Hellfudge roll down the window
Of the limousine

Hellfudge, I'll pay you fifteen bucks
If you perform for me (no more)
Hellfudge, I ain't givin' you one penny more
Gotta buy another TV station for the Lord

Hellfudge can you imagine what it's like
To have to flash and pose
Hellfudge while a fat preacher
Sits and beats off in front of you

Hellfudge same one who's so obsessed
With anti-smut crusades (fancy that)
Hellfudge, oh, Lord someone let the air
Out of my tires

Hellfudge, I'm stuck-with my pants down
Red handed in sin but
With money like mine
The Lord always forgives me

When I'm dictator
You will all be under
The iron thumb of Jesus
The law of the land

Executions for witchcraft
Televised live at five
All rock and roll is pornography
That mixed coed swimming-phooey

I tell ya, it promotes problems of the flesh
Problems of the flesh, the flesh, the flesh
I can't stand it anymore my fundamentalist army's
Crackin' down full swirl

Hellfudge polyester suit nazis
Will control the world
Hellfudge if you think Khomeini
Is a step back in time

Hellfudge just wait til I decide
What you read and who dies
Hellfudge, you think we're finished
Boy, you must be queer

We get a little stronger every year
When I bilk your money, I'm moral, man
But I got a little problem
I just can't say no to that hellfudge

So take off them clothes
Slowly now, slowly and twitch your little
Flounderjust like that
Yeah, just like they do

In all the smut rags
I pretend to hate so much
Bite down real hard, smile slut
I own you, look humiliated, try to cry

I despise you so much I hate myself
Tastes almost as good
As one of them green bubblegum cigars
Yeah, hellfudge

There's a whole lotta
Shakin' goin' on in here
But don't tell my cousin, ok, yeah
Great balls o' fire, hellfudge

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