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Changing

de JayteKz

It ain't no secret, I'm always vocal with the way I feel
I don't wanna be alive, depression is gonna get me killed
Family says I need help but I don't think they fucking get it
What I feel is carved inside my heart and it's deeply embedded
I-I-I wish it was that simple, I wish this made me stronger, but instead It has left me crippled
It's hard for me to smile and when I do It's fabricated
I'm slowly breaking down and my happiness is barricaded
I fucking hate this shit, numb the pain by taking sips
Every time I'm sober I just want to slit my fucking wrists
Hoping I will bleed to death, choking till I lose my breath
Father, please forgive me, but I can't go on within my flesh
Death seems like the only route, only place where peace is found
Mom and Dad I love you, and I'm sorry If I let you down, but I can't take no more
My heart is fucking torn, I wish this was a nightmare, wish I was never born

I can hardly feel now
Every single day I am going numb
I can only hope the end is near now
I don't want to stay, I want to run
No one understands these tears I shed now
No one understands the hell I am in
Honestly, just wish that I was dead now
Can I bare this misery within?

And dear family, I know it's hard for you to listen, but this is how I feel, I hope that I can be forgiven
I feel imprisoned, I don't know how to escape
Yeah, Imma victim of my own self-defeat and hate
I-I-I wish I wasn't fucked up
I-I-I wish I could look up
I-I-I wish that I was lying to you
Wish I was sharing smiles instead of fucking crying to you
I'm sorry for it all, but this broken heart is raw
I ain't got no where to turn to and I don't know who to call
Got no choice but to crawl, I can't stand up on my feet
Every time I fucking fall, man I no longer want to breathe
Feel my soul getting weak, and my heart's getting heavy
I'm begging on my knees for the lord to come and get me
And when my time comes all I ask is don't forget me
My purpose was fulfilled, I'm no longer feeling empty

I can hardly feel now
Every single day I am going numb
I can only hope the end is near now
I don't want to stay, I want to run
No one understands these tears I shed now, no one understands the hell I am in
Honestly, just wish that I was dead now
Can I bare this misery within?

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