He wears a snake skin underwear, which women refer to as "The Python Pouch."
He once slayed a vampire with a chorus.
Chuck Norris has a book of facts on him.
He is the only man qualified for "The Awesome Award."
He once outran a cheetah.
He can stop a bullet in midair, just by looking at it.
He once killed himself, for creeping up on himself.
When he goes out in public, he wheres a cape.
At age 5, he put his mom on time out, for not buying him fruit roll-ups, ahh, delicious fruit roll-ups!
Nectar of the gods!
It's a paper tape, delicious, fruity experience.
So what I say, "Mom, stop being a bitch! And let your kid engulge in his fruit roll-ups!"
He is, the most interesting man in the cater!