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A Wonderful Guy

de Evelyn Knight

Behold, the eighth wonder
Of the natural world!
Come one and come all
See the two-headed girl
Stupendous! Revolting!
You'll be shocked, you'll be awed
A true freak of nature
A blunder of God

But possessing such talents
Hear them sing, see them dance
As seen in the highest class
Parlours of France
Just ten bucks a photograph
Get your seats while they last
We take Visa and Master Card
Debit or cash!

Isn't it nice that they're being so nice to us?
If I'm not mistaken I think they might like us
Aren't we lucky to be here?
Stop moving, they're taking a picture
Smile for the camera, Evelyn

Come in, come in
Must be cold out there, gentlemen
Take off your coats
And just guess what the wind blew in
I know you like twins
Have I got a surprise!
They're identical sisters
Attached at the sides!

Just imagine the fun
You could have with these childrens
And they're so well behaved
Not a single complaint yet
Just look at these photos
While I pour your a cocktail
I don't know whether I should charge
Double or triple!

Isn't it nice that they're being so nice to us?
If I'm not mistaken I think they might like us
Aren't we lucky to be here?
Stop moving, they're taking a picture
Smile for the camera, Evelyn

Ladies and gentlemen
Critics and hipsters
Have you heard the new disc
By the Evelyn sisters?
Seamlessly floating with grace
Between eras and genres
They sing timeless new songs
Rife with double-entendres

As featured in Rolling Stone
Spin, the New Yorker
And Pitchfork (Pitchfork)
There's an in-store appearance
Today at the corner of
Bedford and Seventh Ave.
Come get a photograph
Sticker, and autographed shirt!

Isn't it nice that they're being so nice to us?
If I'm not mistaken I think they might like us
Aren't we lucky to be here?
Stop moving, they're taking a picture
Smile for the camera, Evelyn!

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