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Debt

de Eliza McLamb

You didn't care enough to end it
So I did
You almost slept through the breakup
The sound of dorm dryers in the basement kept your head up

I said I'm done washing your sheets
You won't return my calls about my eighty dollars
Will I get it back?
Will I see you?

It's just a monetary exchange to me
If you mailed it it'd be the same to me
But I hope you put it in my hands

I suppose you don't owe me any more than the money
But I'd trade it in an instant for a sign

I know I'm not what you wanted
But was I for a while?

I had to drag your weighted blanket
Across campus on the coldest day of march
I had to get it out from underneath my bed
Left it at your door in a tote bag
Went to buy a pack of light blue cigarettes

I walked through traffic to the tidal basin
Smoked till I forgot the taste of you
I know it's reductive but it's true
I'm not trying to be cool about it
I wasted all that energy on you

I suppose you don't owe me any more than the money
But I'd trade it in an instant for all my time
I know you're not what I need
But I thought you were for a while

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