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de Clifford T. Ward

I hired a video and put it under the Tele
I taped this and that an' I watched the films
I soon got soaked - nay saturated
So I phoned the rental company to - fetch it back.

An' I'm drying out now
I'm drying out
Don't think I've done to much damage
Just a mild form of video pneumonia.

It could have been worse
Our plumbers got it bad
You see we just moved house
To a cottage on a hill.

I had to fetch him out
To mend the pipes
An' when he saw the house he said "Bloody hell Cliff, Psycho 2"
There's not much hope for him
And when he'd finished I took him home
To watch the Texas Chain-saw Massacre

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