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Bite Through My Tongue

de Casey

Another year around the Sun in search of
Anything to pacify the numbing belief
That irrespective of how our time was spent
Or what solace we were graced by friends
It all amounted to nothing in the end

You'd always watch me as I'd ideate
Diazepam and dulling ache

Open eyed, I stare at the mirror
And drive my teeth straight through my tongue
It's so torpefying knowing
That one day your life will be forgotten

In the spaces between my discomfort and grief
I had nothing to offer to help you to sleep

No question ever conjured up
Enough detail to reconstruct
The trust that you felt I had broken
Shallow cuts for doubt to soak in

Now I don't think of you in apathy
(You'd always watch me as I'd ideate)
Now I don't think of you in apathy
Now I don't think of you in apathy
(Diazepam and dulling ache)
I don't think of you at all

Open eyed, I stare at the mirror
And drive my teeth straight through my tongue
It's so torpefying knowing
That one day your life will be forgotten
And I can't help but feel like I'm to blame
But if it hurt that much then why did you stay?

In the spaces between my discomfort and grief
I had nothing to offer to help your sleep
Surrender to bed, silk scarves at the wrists
An apostle for malediction
Yarn for the tapestry, woven in anger
Rage for the sake of it, stuck on repeat
No heaven ever equal to your skin
But no Hell like the wrath that lay beneath

Open eyed, I stare at the mirror
And drive my teeth straight through my tongue
It's so torpefying knowing
That one day your life will be forgotten

You'll be forgotten

But if it hurt so much then why did you stay?
But if it hurt so much then why did you stay?

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