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used to be pretty

de BLÜ EYES

I start to cry in the dressing room light
What I thought was my size won't make it past my thighs and it hurts
Seeing myself at my worst
I turn to the side, taking pictures so my hips don't look quite as wide
Yeah, I'm real good at hiding my flaws
And trying to be something I'm not

Oh, I try being kind but can't help
Hating this version of myself

I wish I was pretty
Like I used to be
At twenty-three when I'd look in the mirror and wish I was nineteen
Yeah, I've hated my body
Since the beginning
I'm starting to wonder if I'll always look at myself and just think
I used to be pretty

Sad and naïve, a size three, wouldn't eat
I survived on the lies fed to me through a screen
I was numb
Every compliment hit like a drug, mm

I compare myself to who I was
Will I ever be good enough?

I wish I was pretty
Like I used to be
Back at nineteen when I'd look in the mirror and wish I was sixteen
I've hated my body
As long as I've breathed
I'm starting to wonder if I'll always look at myself and just think
I used to be pretty

Mean to myself
Putting my mind through hell
Locked away in a cell
Trying to fit in a box there
For somebody else
Sacrificing my health
I was crying for them

I wish I was pretty
And took up less space
Yeah, I'm not as small as I used to be
I hope one day I'll know that's okay

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