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Case Closed

de BIG HAULIN

Venetian expertise
Inspired by Titian
Which he modified
Fine tuned along dutch lines

He’s painting revenge
Embittered by lack of success

With signature techniques
Attention to details
And fine tell tale brushstrokes
of badger and sable

Expressing contempt
For greedy dealers
Getting rich
At the artist’s expense

Infamous forger and restorer
Judas Unrepentant
branded a charming old lovable rogue
Judas Unrepentant
Hey
Judas Unrepentant
Hey
Judas!

His time bombs are in place
And anachronisms
Clues pointing to the truth
If ever they are X-rayed

Wrote legends in lead white
to trick the experts
And hoodwink
Hoodwink the trained eye

Infamous forger and restorer
Judas Unrepentant
branded a charming old lovable rogue
Judas Unrepentant
Hey
Judas Unrepentant
Hey
Judas Unrepentant

Establishing provenance
Acquiring old frames with Christies numbers
Then paints a picture in the same style
Specialising in minor works by major artists

All rise
Thirteen watercolours by Samuel Palmer
Have proven to be his undoing
And so he confesses then he is arrested
Charged him with conspiracy to defraud

Years of chain smoking and breathing in fumes from restorations
The stress of the court case had taken its toll
His trial was halted due to ill health

So now we can all buy
Real genuine fakes
That’s posthumous fame
It’s always the same

Infamous forger and restorer
Judas Unrepentant
branded a charming old lovable rogue
Judas Unrepentant
Feeling like Robin Hood
Just as good
As Rembrandt or Titian
Hey
Judas Unrepentant
Hey
Judas Unrepentant
Hey
Judas Unrepentant

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