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Colleen

de Benny Hill

Colleen, Colleen
Oh, I'm aching for you
Colleen, Colleen
My heart's breaking for you

Now, Jock sat in the emergency
Ward as nervous as he could be
Nurse Colleen said
Now, what's that there just above your knee?
He said: Oh, that's my sporran, ma'am
She said
Now, there's a scream
For ten whole minutes
I've been trying to give it a saucer of cream

Colleen, Colleen
Oh, I'm aching for you
Colleen, Colleen
My heart's breaking for you

She rubbed me thumb with liniment
And it turned me thumb all red
I said: That made it smart
So she rubbed some on me head
And I couldn't eat peas with me knife and fork
She said: Now, never you mind
She went, and she got a celery stalk
And we rolled them down one at a time

Colleen, Colleen
Oh, I'm aching for you
Colleen, Colleen
My heart's breaking for you

Now, she's got a touch of the foul pest
And she acts in a very odd way
She thinks that she's a chicken
And she cackles all-day
Oh, send for the psychiatrist
Her poor old father begged
But Mum says
Let the girl alone
You know we need the eggs

Colleen, Colleen
Oh, I'm aching for you
Colleen, Colleen
My heart's breaking for you

Now, we've married
And we've settled in a cottage near Ravout
The bed is all broken
And the springs are sticking out
But when I recall our nights together
My heart, it wants to sing
We kissed all through the winter
And made love right through the spring

Colleen, Colleen
Oh, I'm aching for you
Colleen, Colleen
My heart's breaking for you

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