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The Yeomen of the Guard

de Arthur Sullivan

One and one and two are three
If you adhere to Irish logic
That's just one of the many jokes of which
The Irish are the topic
You can talk about the luck of but in
Truth there's not a lot

So we have this reputation of being
As thick two short planks
And although George Bernard Shaw
Was Irish he's an Englishman
No we don't live in houses that are
Otherwise known as bars
Yes we do have other transport
Besides donkeys and carts
Go to Dublin day or night
And see for yourself there's
Not a bog in sight

In America the joke about the irishman
Would die
There for some peculiar season it's
The polish they decry
Bet in sweden it's norwegians and in
Norway it's the danes

And it's a fallacy to think that irish
People drink the most
When in njoy germany alone their beer
Consumption unapproached
As for britian far from being sober
They would enjoy thier drink
But to call an enghlishman a drunk
Would be an awful thing
What you need todo for that
Is a chap named pat and the luck of the irish

Kiss the blarney stone but get down on your back to do it
Okay on the surface I admit it does seem rather stupid
But you mustn't judge a book by all accounts
But by what's underneath it's
Cover up your daughters what they don't see they won't miss
Remember contraception is despair but ignorance is bliss
The church will tell you what you should and what you
Shouldn't do is argue with it

Shergar's body been exhumed by irish terrorists today
If the ransom isn't paid out then his life may not be saved
No we don't live in houses that are
Otherwise known as bars
Yes we do have other transport
Besides donkeys and carts
Go to Dublin day or night
And see for yourself there's
Not a bog in sight
The luck of the irsh

Kiss the blarney stone but get down on your back to do it
Okay on the surface I admit it does seem rather stupid
But you mustn't judge a book by all accounts
But by what's underneath it's
Cover up your daughters what they don't see they won't miss
Remember contraception is despair but ignorance is bliss
The church will tell you what you should and what you
Shouldn't do is argue with it

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