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Bells

de Anathallo

When I can't find the word I'm looking for
Or I reach into the drawer with four tries
But nothing sticks
There's no telling why I opened it
I try but I just forget
What there once was, I have not forgotten
What there once was, it won't leave me alone
The synapses still fire and direct my thoughts
They just seem tired of hunting for homes
And I'm not brave enough to say that I'm not afraid
Should I return to confused bits of blindness
A tongue wanting words in the sweet of speech finds a form
Then return to the bald toothless need of a child
Hunched and cradled
(His spine returns the curl to fit the cleft of an arm)
Oh, we are embarked and return to the place we start to thrash against it
It's a wild thing to accept, and who can hold it?
Think about the loss of anything
Well, someday if you wake to a nameless stranger in me
Lead me outside. Let me go.
If I'm already there, just let me go
I'm not

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